I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie the other day and was sadly disappointed. I was extremely excited to go see the movie, and was hoping for the best but that just didn’t happen. If you don’t want to have the movie spoiled for you don’t continue past this point, but for the rest read on.
I will make a brief list here about what was stupid about this movie, and then feel free to add to it in the comments:
1: The aliens. Seriously, that was stupid. I felt like I was watching The Mummy, and I enjoyed that movie, but I was expecting weirdness from that movie, Indiana Jones requires a lot more grounding in reality than something like The Mummy.
2: Nobody can survive a nuclear blast, not even in a fridge. That was probably the moment when I really started to wonder whether this movie would be any good.
3: How did Sean Connery die? I thought the whole struggle in the end of the third movie was to achieve immortality? Did he get hit by a car, or die by some other means that wasn’t covered by immortality? Or perhaps Sean Connery himself just wasn’t all that interested.
4: Fire ants eating people. This is another part that reminded me of The Mummy, in fact it looked almost identical to the part (maybe there were several) where the guy gets eaten by the scarabs.
5: No hot girl for Shia. In the past Indiana movies there was always a good looking girl or two, but now the only girl in the movie will remind us all of our moms. Cate Blanchett is a good looking woman, but not so much in this movie, she seemed more lesbianish, and not in a hot way.
6: The audience is more savvy now. It’s not really Spielberg and Lucas’ fault on this one, they tried to just make another Indiana movie that would be like the old ones and have nostalgia appeal, but the fact of the matter is audiences are smarter. Or maybe I’m just smarter? I was like 6 when I saw the last one, but all the same, it just felt stupid. I felt like Spielberg was spoofing his own movie, and I’m pretty sure Mel Brooks was nowhere to be seen on the set of this one.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on why Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, what are yours?
i agree with you on most points except a couple…the Movie DID STINK on ALL LEVELS. In your point 3…the reason Connery died is probably because his character was soo dang old…if you recall, in the Last Crusade, drinking from the Holy Grail ONLY gave you Immortality in the cave and you could NOT cross the Seal on the floor…that is why the 900 year old Knight couldn’t leave the place, if he did, he would no longer be immortal and would die…..if he could have left, don’t you think he would have bought some new clothes or something? he had all those gold challaces etc in there, the dude was rich!!
and on your point 6, i believe it IS Spielberg and Lucas’ fault for making this film stink sooo bad. Yes, the audience is more savvy, but this movie seemed to cater to younger children rather than original fan, older audiences….I don’t know a single person who has liked this film yet….they completely destroyed the whole Idea/image of Indiana jones!!! they should have called this move, “indiana jones and the stupid glass alien skull”….”kingdom”…what kingdom? It was terrible and they have murdered the character forever…thank god, gooodness can still prevail in watching the original trilogy (even if Temple of Doom wasn’t quite up to par with the other 2…it was still better than this crystal skull piece of garbage).
Left by timbo on May 30th, 2008
I’ll be honest; I wasn’t expecting much from the start. It was called “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” That name alone just sounds so.. so.. pathetic.. when compared to “Raider’s of the Lost Ark” or “Last Crusade” (granted, “Temple of Doom” sounded lame, but compensated with a better movie).
However, it was an Indiana Jones movie, so it might be worthy. Man, when I’m wrong, I am WRONG.
- No Nazi’s.
- No Christian lore.
- No world-saving.
- No hot chicks.
- No logic.
- No plot twist. (Can you honestly tell me you didn’t see aliens after you saw the skull?)
- Action scenes reminded me of Dragon Ball Z episodes. NO ONE WOULD DIE. Even after being pounded in the face repeatedly, characters would be back for more.
- Where was the witty dialogue? It was as ever-present as the logic behind how everything worked. Logic, like the kind where the tomb was magnetic, yet people could hold their METAL GUNS to Indy without struggling.
- Aliens. Bad move, Lucas. Save those for Star Wars and the rest of your post-CG movie flops.
- Tarzan. Yeah, I said it. TARZAN. Swinging from vine to vine and catching up with the MOTOR VEHICLES that left you in the dust.
- I didn’t mind his son, I actually kind of liked that, I just wish he wasn’t played by that kid. I like that kid. I liked him in Transformers, and even when he was on “Even Stevens” on the Disney Channel several years ago.
- Psychics. WTF. She tried to red his mind at the beginning and was like “i did it 4 the lulz, he’s strong,” and didn’t bother mentioning psychic jargon until the end.
Final Verdict:
Why are we so surprised? Lucas has been off his rocker ever since Star Wars: Episode I came out. Oh, and how can we forget the brilliant subtitle for Ep II; “Attack of the Clones.”
Few synonyms compare with ‘bad’. When a movie is rotten, it stinks… bad. Rift Trax, formally known as Mystery Science Theater 3000, will have a hay day flaming this movie.
Left by GTStevo on May 30th, 2008
One point that you got wrong is that the immortality bit, they were only immortal when they were in ‘the seal’ in the last crusade. When they crossed the seal they lost immortality, and the temple collapesed. So Indiana, or indiana dad where not immortal.
So your point 3 is wrong.
But with the rest of your points i agree
Left by Luke on May 31st, 2008
Great post. I completely agree with you. That movie sucked big time. And a lot of my friends disagree. Most think the other three movies are just as silly. They obviously haven’t seen the original trilogy recently. I watched all three right before seeing the fourth and I can tell you, they are all grounded in reality.
And on a side note, I actually think Temple of Doom rates up there with the other two. Different, but still Indy. Short Round is great and I like Willie a lot. The mine car chase is awesome and the “bad” Indy is soo cool. Kinda like Superman 3 when Superman goes bad. (Okay, maybe it is a bit over the top.)
But going back to Indy 4, it was AWFUL.
Left by Jeremiah Daws on June 2nd, 2008
1) The aliens thing is actually real… er, at least BASED on factual (yet controversial) theories. At the very least aliens are more realistic than a religious cup that lets you live forever or a box with souls that come out and melt your face. Look into it for a bit.. not just the mayans- the Sumerians, early Chinese… when you do some “comparative mythology” it seems there were a lot of cultures obsessed with tracking the stars and with “Gods” that “came from the sky on flaming chariots” with the knowledge of agriculture, astrology and the domestication of livestock. Archeology still can’t explain how agriculture developed simultaneously around the world around 9000BC… if it’s not aliens, it’s gotta be Atlantis or divine intervention.
2) Have you ever been in a nuclear blast? I think TV and Movies might have glorified the big bomb a little… there were survivors of the two bombs that America dropped on Japan in WW2… and back in the 50’s they made fridges to LAST!
3) Other people already got that. You had to stay in the cave.
4) Fire Ants really “bugged” you? And let me guess, not the PIT OF SNAKES from the original Raiders? Probably because they were CGI, right? So I gotta assume that since most people (who’ve brought this up to me anyway) can dig the Raider Snake Pit but not the ants, that they hate CGI…. as a filmmaker, how the hell would you do a giant army of killer ants as a PRACTICAL effect?
5) No hot girl for Shia? PLEASE tell me you were kidding here. Would you have preferred them to cast Amanda Bynes as Cate Blanchette’s russian daughter for Shia to clumsily hit on? You know what else Indy 4 needed? Tits! Big fat alien titties! … Personally, I thought the love story between Marion and Indy reflected the maturity of age with the immortal immaturity of Indy/Marion’s characters (archaeologists and paleontologists tend to do well under Speilberg!). You didn’t need a “relationship” girl, because the story was about “family”, like Last Crusade was. The relationship in the movie was a about a dad-mom-kid, not a lusty jungle love.
6) The audience…. smarter? C’mon- we’re dumber than EVER now!
I think that it’s not the movie that has changed- it is YOU that has! People grow older and start to try and take things more seriously and the magic bleeds out of life with the excitement. Suddenly, everything is a jaded attempt to regain youth or reclaim old glory at the cost of a responsible, realistic life… the one we’re all forced to live.
So for those who didn’t like Indy 4, I say that it is not because the movie “sucks” or is “bad”, but that because your own expectations and boundaries got in the way.
If you can just tell your inner-movie-critic to shut up and enjoy the ride, Indt 4 is a great adventure flick. Just don’t take it too seriously.
Left by Spatula on June 3rd, 2008
Thanks for the comment, I appreciate the participation : ) I really tried to enjoy this movie, I really did, but I just couldn’t. I felt like Spielberg was spoofing himself. I’m glad you enjoyed it, because I was really disappointed that I didn’t. Perhaps you’re right, and maybe I’ve just gotten older, but I still enjoy watching the original movies. Maybe I should stick to movies like Michael Clayton and No Country For Old Men ; ) Although so far it looks like everyone else here agrees with the overall opinion of the movie, it sucked : ) I liked Transformers, I liked Iron Man, but this was not good.
Left by Emmet Gibney on June 3rd, 2008
I don’t think we have out grown these movies, I even love Temple of Doom and no one else does. I really enjoyed National Treasure 1 and 2 and those are similar genres. I just think the fourth
Indiana Jones was utterly disappointing. There was no mystery to it and most of the characters served no purpose. Why was Karen Allen even in this film? She served no purpose and neither did Oz or that double/triple agent guy. The acting was terrible and every action scene was ridiculous. They pulled him out of a pit with a snake? Are you kidding me? Also, thel wit of the original films was lost and the script was poorly written. It also is the only film that was filmed entirely on a back lot in California. All the other movies were filmed abroad. I was so excited from the trailer and the movie just fell incredibly short.
Left by shazz on June 7th, 2008
I think wer’e all missing the point here…in ten years wer’e all going to look back on this film and laugh..fondly, not in some smartass way. It’s not that this film didn’t live up to the integrity of the original ones (like the over-intellectual NERD who first posted feels), but we the audience have grown up. Stop taking these types of films so damned seriously…it’s just entertainment!
Left by Rich Williamson on June 7th, 2008
yes…you may be right….not take them too seriously…but………….IT WASN’T EVEN ENTERTAINMENT!!!!! It was horrible, and I feel silly that I paid 11 bucks in the theater to see the piece of trash! At no point did i feel “entertained” by this film (and i think most who have posted here would agree with me)….GARBAGE!!
And you are wrong…this film definitely DID NOT as you said…”live up to the integrity of the original films”. Go and watch the first 3 again..then go download a CAM movie of Indy 4 and watch it again (so you don’t have to pay for that piece of crap again in the theater) and you will see….it was junk. Sequels DO get compared to their Predecessors by nature…that’s what makes them sequels. If they weren’t supposed to get compared…they wouldn’t be part of the same series.
Left by timbo on June 10th, 2008
This movie was junk. There was no excitement and the Tarzan scene was just stupid. Overall this movie was awful. I swear movie producers are not even trying any more. All they are doing is making sequels and prequels to tried and true movies and hoping they can cash in on the name. This movie stunk and that is the end of it. Maybe an 8 year old will like it, but will they like it when they are 30? No. The original Indiana Jones movies can be watched today and are entertaining, this one will be crap, released to DVD quickly and placed in the 3 for 5 dollar bin.
Left by Podunk on June 12th, 2008
After seeing the teaser trailer for Indiana Jones 4, I changed my mind about automatically assuming that since this was a new sequel to an old series it wouldn’t live up to the films that came before. Steven Spielberg was churning out hype about how this film was allegedly going to use old-school movie making tecniques to capture the authenticity of the classic Indiana Jones trilogy instead of relying on CG effects, and duh it’s a Harrison Ford movie, ’nuff said. Even after hearing about the alien subplot I was excited for seeing Indy 4. However, the first time I watched it, I felt very disappointed; this movie had too much of a modern feel to it to sufficiently copy the spirit of the 1980s Indiana Jones, and although it had a pleasantly retro taste to it, it was apparent that this movie had been made using anything but “old-school tecnique”. The film itself wasn’t all that bad, it just doesn’t sit well beside the other three. After seeing it another two times though, I started to warm up to Indy 4 a little better. No, it’s not the Indiana Jones film that everyone hoped it would be, and no the plot isn’t all that engaging. Yes, however, Indy 4 is very entertaining, and at the very least it rests on par with The Temple of Doom. If you are expecting to see another “Raiders” or “Crusade”, you will not; go and see this movie anyway though because it is a good “Raiders” sequel in its own right as long as you don’t take it too seriously. And realistically, why should you anyway? We’re talking about a movie franchise that has used the Ark of the Covanent, supernatural stones and the Holy Grail as plot devices, and aliens and flying saucers are no more far-fetched than any of these. If anything, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has too long a name and uses too much CG throughout. But if you are simply a fan of the Indiana Jones series and are willing to put some minor irritations aside, this fourth Indy flick won’t bother you one bit, and it certainly doesn’t tarnish Indiana’s good name.
Left by Justin on June 13th, 2008
This movie was a horrible pile of Sh**T you are absolutely right… I was angry when I left that I had spent the time in the theater… I almost walked out but I had purchased a big box of popcorn and figured the theater was as good as any place to finish it…. I would rate this right up there with dumb movies like Iron Eagle.. well maybe IE was better.
Left by Tony on July 2nd, 2008
Yes I am a huge Indy fan. I could not wait to see this. I tried to strain my brain to like this movie yet the sad truth was I just couldn’t like it no matter how hard I tried. Yes the Tarzan and the waterfall topped it off. The emperor has no clothes. The movie sucked. Damn.
Left by Alex on July 5th, 2008